I have recently discovered that people that you consider and hold dear to you don’t necessarily see you the same. A very close friend of mine is getting married and did not ask me to be a bridesmaid. Now first and foremost I have always heard about contentious issues with people having these type of problems, never did I imagine that I would one day experience it firsthand. Secondly because I never thought the issue of not being asked to be a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding would ever happen and thirdly even if I weren’t asked I would be upset about it. However, I wasn’t asked and a I was hurt. While I have dealt with all of the hurt feelings and I am looking forward to my friend’s big day, I am seriously re-evaluating some things in my life. I try to stay positive and at least walk away learning something from situations. I was depressed for a little bit until I realized that while it is her day and she is entitled to make her own decisions regardless of whether or not she was my chief bridesmaid; that I deserve to be treated better. I am going to show up for her day be happy for her and her husband but at the end of the day our dynamic has changed forever and maybe that’s okay. I am grateful for this small stint of depression, as it showed me a few things. I wasn’t taking proper care of myself, simple things really, a little nail polish on my nails a pedicure here and there. A little extra effort on my appearance for work. You see while I was busy being hurt I was hurting myself. So I am going to focus on my husband and myself as that is what matters at the end of the day. In life the only constant is change, sometimes it’s scary as we become comfortable with things and people the way they are, but if we learn to love ourselves unconditionally it would not matter who come into or go out of our lives. Would it hurt? Of course it will! Heartrendingly even, we will however understand that someone worth loving is still here depending on us to continue on. I am going to learn french and start piano lessons. Two things I have always wanted to do. Till next time stay blessed and keep God in your lives #onelove
It’s December 22nd, and I am at work, wondering why am I not sitting by a fireplace curled up on my sectional watching outside my window while th esnow begins to fall, with a cup of hot chocolate; feeling down only to hear my doorbell ring and see the love of my life standing there………… Listening to Nat king cole’s Chestnut roasting…. and Michael Buble’s Christmas album………..
Adele’s song, “when we were young” “it was just like a movie, it was just like a song” hits the nail on the head. I was telling my husband just a few weeks ago, that when I was younger I thought being grown up would be so much more glamorous. Imagine my disappointment when Christmas Holidays aren’t spent in some snowy country with Christmas dinners. Or that you’d get invited to a holiday house party and you’d see an old love that broke your heart….or that you thought broke your heart rather.
My husband’s thought on the issue was that I simply watched too many movies or read too many novels. Which I admittedly think also accounts for my high romantic expectations. Is it though such a bad thing to expect the man in your life to treat you like a princess. I am not just talking about material things only. Simple things too. I have come to the reality that while I love my husband I cant just put that on him. There were other guys that didn’t live up to expectations as well, so I ask is it that men lack thoughtfulness? Or are my expectations unrealistic? Either way I have started to grow up and stop dreaming. At the end of the day my husband will die for me and isn’t that the most romantic gesture of all.
Food for thought……….
Loosing weight is no easy task. I can tell you first hand. Everyone wants to be “sexy” slender even. Are we willing to do the work? Does anyone really enjoy exercising? I sure don’t, but do you know what I also don’t like? I abhor being called fat, I dislike going into a store and asking for an item only to be told, “we don’t have your size” or worst “that does not come in plus size”.
The very idea of taking that first step of going to a gym, if the shame of not being able to keep up within the first 10 min warm up of the one hour aerobics class doesn’t demotivate you, there are so many other things that will.
I know many will read this and say well damn, isn’t this suppose to be motivational? No my friend it is suppose to be real. No one wants to tell you, how hard it is to change your eating habits, when you crave foods that are bad for you, or that to even get clothes comfortable and fashionable to exercise in is a task. A task harder that exercising itself. What we are sold, granted that we buy it wholesale as well, is the “how I lost 100 llbs” story.
Not withstanding I have started exercising for a month and I have lost 15 llbs. I personally have not seen where but I am taking a different approach. I am weighing in once a month. Each week I set a different goal, I stay till the end of all my classes even if I am tired and can’t actively do all of whats being instructed. I am working on my diet, if I slip up I don’t beat myself up about it. I am not rewarding myself with food. Last of all I am feeling great and the numbers on a scale can never account for the fact that my back doesn’t hurt when I walk for 5 minutes. I don’t have short breath anymore and my husband does not have to stay up at nights when I’m sleeping to listen to my struggled breathing, googling sleep apnea symtoms.
I feel good and I hope that this story in some way touches someone who is having the same issue. Losing weight is hard, but gaining your self is worth it (Tm).
P.S. I don’t know if any phrase or term used in this post is trademarked by anyone. I did not research it nor did I intentionally copy any one’s work.
Sade Mc Queen